Kamba culture demystified!

This is an account of the marriage part of the Kamba culture as narrated by my grandma, a request by one of my friends here in face book and beyond. Contents: Courtship/dating Introduction to parents Introduction between parents Dowry arrangements Wedding What is given out to the wife by grand parents? What is expected of wife towards in-laws? Courtship/dating: In the earlier days and even today, parents are not so concerned about how you date so long as you don’t mess around! They would the courting for you if you failed in that sector, which doesn’t happen often nowadays! They would identify a lady and talk to the parents or even bring her to you , build you a house and expect you to start a family by their own rules… Introduction to parents The lady did the first introduction: still the case to date. This was to enable the man to understand the kind of family he is bringing a lady to his from! It would stay that way till the groom found it necessary for him to do the introduction of the lady to his parents:- she would be active, obedient to her parents, know how to cook and of course beautiful!. Then she would be introduced. Introduction between parents After the initial introduction, the parents of the man would go together with him or without depending on the distance and would get to know the brides parents, introduction done by both or an older person in the party held in the lady’s home by the mans family. This is to confirm the earlier introductions by both, the lady and the man. happens till to date. Dowry arrangements This is done in part by the mans parents depending on what is agreed in the previous party if any, the availability of both parties and how much they can afford at the time. These days however it happens after the birth of the first kid. Wedding This is done by the two love birds, of course with the help of parents and the church. It wasn’t done in the past but it is a day for the bride and very important. It should happen only when the two are ready to live together in the same house setting and are ready to continue the lineage and merge their families because that is the real reason for a family! What is given out to the wife by grand parents? Small kiondo – this is given to the wife as a hold for seeds: this is to help her in her planting and to tell her now you are the one to look after your shamba, know what to plant and when, how!! Big kiondo – to go to the market with, visit her parents with but first it is left with her mother during the party when a decision is reached, to carry only some of her clothes when she is moving to her house after the wedding. Beaded necklace – an accessory to show her acceptance into the man’s family. What is expected of wife towards in-laws? I’d refer you to the bible, all you know of this! Plus, Obedience to the husband, parents, and people fit to be her parents and the like. Active and trainable. Great cook Stay beautiful and respectful to both sets of her parents! Any comments are welcome, but this is what is expected of a happily ever after family.