Saturday, June 25, 2011
Kenyanpoet - A Kenyan Artistic Space: My Poetry Collection
Kenyanpoet - A Kenyan Artistic Space: My Poetry Collection: "Njeri Wangarĩ - Wanjohi, a multi talented Kenyan poet and performer, IT specialist and arts blogger recently published her collection of po..."
Hot Secrets: ONCE UPON A RHYME : AN AFRICAN HIP HOP DOCUMENTARY...
Hot Secrets: ONCE UPON A RHYME : AN AFRICAN HIP HOP DOCUMENTARY...: "Once Upon a Rhyme is a story about Hiphop, experienced through a journey into the lives and careers of 8 African artists on a personal lev..."
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Healthy relationships
Healthy relationships
People in long-term, satisfying
relationships tend to do the following
(this advice is adapted from
Montgomery, Cole and Bradac, and
Canary and Stafford's work on
Relational Maintenance):
Slow, but Consistent - Relationships
work the best when people go slow
and take their time getting to know
each other. Whirlwind romances
usually end in disaster. It also helps to
be consistently supportive and
encouraging. Inconsistent behavior
causes misunderstandings and
uncertainty.
Keep Things Upbeat - Relationships
work the best when partners express a
positive and upbeat attitude towards
each other. Genuine displays of
happiness and affection go a long way
when trying to make a relationship
work. By contrast, relationships fail
when indifference, anger and negativity
become the norm. In fact, even a little
negativity can create a lot of problems
in a close relationship. This does not
mean that people cannot express
negative feelings in a relationship, but
that there are appropriate (and
inappropriate) ways of dealing with
one’s negative feelings (see, talk about
problems).
Approach Problems Together - Couples
feel closer and are more satisfied with
their relationships when they approach
problems and difficulties as a team.
Couples who take an US versus the
PROBLEM, rather than a YOU versus
ME approach to conflict are much
happier in the long run.
Don't Take Each Other For Granted -
Over time, couples typically take each
other for granted. At the start of a
relationship people appreciate all the
things that their partners do for them.
However, as time goes on, people tend
to expect more, but acknowledge a
partner's contributions less often. To
keep a relationship happy and healthy
it is important to show appreciation on
a consistent basis.
Appreciate Differences - Relationships
work the best when partners have a lot
in common, but respect and appreciate
the differences that do exist. It helps to
appreciate someone for who they are
rather than try to change them or how
they behave (see,relationship
dynamics).
Be Approachable - People need to be
able to talk freely with a romantic
partner. Sharing what is going on in
one’s life and how one feels about
issues is important to do. But, being
open with a partner is not always easy
because it requires spouses to tell the
truth and to LISTEN to things that may
be difficult to hear. Listening in an
attempt to UNDERSTAND, not control,
evaluate, or judge is critical to having
an satisfying relationship.
Express Commitment - Relationships
work the best when partners reassure
each other of their love and
commitment. It never hurts to tell a
spouse that you love him or her and
that you will always be there.
How does your relationship compare?
People in long-term, satisfying
relationships tend to do the following
(this advice is adapted from
Montgomery, Cole and Bradac, and
Canary and Stafford's work on
Relational Maintenance):
Slow, but Consistent - Relationships
work the best when people go slow
and take their time getting to know
each other. Whirlwind romances
usually end in disaster. It also helps to
be consistently supportive and
encouraging. Inconsistent behavior
causes misunderstandings and
uncertainty.
Keep Things Upbeat - Relationships
work the best when partners express a
positive and upbeat attitude towards
each other. Genuine displays of
happiness and affection go a long way
when trying to make a relationship
work. By contrast, relationships fail
when indifference, anger and negativity
become the norm. In fact, even a little
negativity can create a lot of problems
in a close relationship. This does not
mean that people cannot express
negative feelings in a relationship, but
that there are appropriate (and
inappropriate) ways of dealing with
one’s negative feelings (see, talk about
problems).
Approach Problems Together - Couples
feel closer and are more satisfied with
their relationships when they approach
problems and difficulties as a team.
Couples who take an US versus the
PROBLEM, rather than a YOU versus
ME approach to conflict are much
happier in the long run.
Don't Take Each Other For Granted -
Over time, couples typically take each
other for granted. At the start of a
relationship people appreciate all the
things that their partners do for them.
However, as time goes on, people tend
to expect more, but acknowledge a
partner's contributions less often. To
keep a relationship happy and healthy
it is important to show appreciation on
a consistent basis.
Appreciate Differences - Relationships
work the best when partners have a lot
in common, but respect and appreciate
the differences that do exist. It helps to
appreciate someone for who they are
rather than try to change them or how
they behave (see,relationship
dynamics).
Be Approachable - People need to be
able to talk freely with a romantic
partner. Sharing what is going on in
one’s life and how one feels about
issues is important to do. But, being
open with a partner is not always easy
because it requires spouses to tell the
truth and to LISTEN to things that may
be difficult to hear. Listening in an
attempt to UNDERSTAND, not control,
evaluate, or judge is critical to having
an satisfying relationship.
Express Commitment - Relationships
work the best when partners reassure
each other of their love and
commitment. It never hurts to tell a
spouse that you love him or her and
that you will always be there.
How does your relationship compare?
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